It Aint Easy

I play around with math to relieve the stress.
Pen and pad in hand wonderin what's next.
I've got friends callin me up - takin sides,
and close family who just died - and I aint even cry.
Just took it in stride, and all those emotions and pain, just held 'em inside.
Its like I aint got a friend in the world.
got a million and one problems I don't even tell my girl.
But thats the game and I'll be damned if a thing changes.
Its no love for a guy from the streets tryin to make it legally,
to I turn to poetry.
I'm tellin you, It aint easy bein me.
Some hear me complain and say I'm to blame or call me insane.
its like its a big game, and me even tryin to win is hopeless
So I sit silent through all the commotion
Occasionally wavin hi to the people passin by.
It aint easy bein me.

I can't sleep cause I'm dreamin conspiracy theories,
wake up sweaty and steamin cause I'm on to what they thinkin.
I'm probably paranoid but I've heard stories of my boys
who've been through it before.
Don't want to go through it again,
so I'm wathin who I'm callin a friend.
I sit and wonder why it is the way it is,
but meanwhile I've got my thoughts on these kids,
cause I don't want them to see me like this,
expectin a life with no happiness.
But it aint easy.
They sit and watch Obama representin
and I'm wonderin about a society that'd rather see em in prison.
Gettin calls from my dad to make sure I'm alive
Although I'm quiet, he tells me to just take it in stride.
But even he's pesterin me about finishin this degree
I'm tellin you, It aint Easy bein me.